I headed to Bangkok on Friday night by way of an Emirates Air flight that departed Hong Kong at 9:15pm. My return flight was set to depart at 1:30pm on Sunday afternoon and so I had approximately 40 hours to stuff down as much of what Thailand had to offer as I could. Surprisingly, I was so thoroughly impressed with Emirates that I shall look to fly with this outfit anytime that I travel in this area from here on out. The seats were spacious, the food was high quality, the drinks were free and you had enough movie options that flipping through each preview alone could easily have kept you busy on the 3-hour flight.
Upon landing, I tipped my hat to the staff, ducked into the jet-way and set out walking with a purpose. This was exciting…I mean, let’s call a spade a spade… Hong Kong is different, but Bangkok…that’s Asia. Within seconds of entering the terminal this new land greeted me with a smack across the face from some of the thickest air I have ever felt. Keep in mind that it was around 11:30pm at this point (Bangkok is one hour behind HK if you’re trying to do the math), and it was still well above 90 degrees with what could very well have passed for 100% humidity.
The heat helping to loosen the bum knee coupled with the fact that I pretty much had the airport to myself at this point allowed me to move very swiftly through immigration and on to find a mode of transportation to take me to my hotel. By this point I was one stamp heavier and I was successful in flagging down a taxi. We negotiated a mutually acceptable price of 400 Baht (~$13) for the ride. I was well worn down by this point and I had firm plans to greet the rooster in the morning and so I was somewhat disappointed to discover that the airport is at least a 30-minute drive from the city. When it was all said and done it took closer to 45 minutes after all traffic and lights were figured in and I entered the hotel anxiously anticipating retiring for the evening. From the moment I walked in to the Hansar Hotel I was treated like a king and the capable staff ensured that I was checked in and ready to climb into bed all of about 20 minutes after arrival.
Even though I only had about 4 beers dispersed spaciously between the terminal and flight itself, for some odd reason I awoke around 6:30 with a hangover that you could’ve sold to science. The shower, breakfast and coffee did wonders to help it dissipate and by the time I was ready to meet the driver/companion I had hired for the day I was spry as ever. It was at the relentless insistence of my boss that I made these arrangements even though hired help ran counter to the way I had been planning on discovering Thailand. It didn’t take me long to realize that Thailand would have picked me apart limb from limb had I not had a guide dog.
It was 8 am and there it was…an oddly shaped, chartreuse astrovan parked on the side of the hotel with door wide open and waiting. I had had correspondence during the week prior with the driver regarding a tentative plan. As it turns out we all but strayed from the itinerary at each checkpoint…and that turned out to be a good thing because what an adventure it became.
I’m sorry…please forgive me for my rudeness….before we move on…
…Meet Khun Den.. (English translation…Mr. Den; for illustrative purposes I was referred to as Khun Matt the entire weekend):
Now, things you should know about Khun Den before we begin…
-He was born and raised on the outskirts of Bangkok
-He is a driver for hire and is used frequently by my boss when she visits Thailand
-He has a 19 year old daughter
-He seems to have never been out of the small pocket of tightly wrapped countries in southeast Asia
-He bought that hat at one of the markets we passed by boat on the side of the Macong river for 100 -baht
-He knows just enough English that we could reasonably communicate
-He ordered a fish sandwich when we ate lunch together at KFC
-He and I gave Thailand a real run for its money
Den failed to mention that our destination would be a dirt lot way off the beaten path on which strode two very large elephants. We got out of the van and Den laughed so hard he couldn’t catch his breath and I think it was his way of saying…’I really got you this time, white boy’… As it turns out Den had arranged for two of his contacts to transport us the final leg to our boat on top of these beasts. I felt a little like ‘Short Round’ as I made about 2 attempts before finally being able to climb aboard. Now in my youthful days, I was as limber as they come. Unfortunately years haven’t been kind on account of injury and wear and tear and so mounting this thing was a challenge (in fact, I think it’s pretty safe to say that at this point I’d probably be a non-factor in the over-80 division of a 40-yard dash). Regardless, I finally struggled on and we were off for the 2-mile walk through the jungle. Right from the start Den’s elephant set out at a brisk pace and consistently kept a 20 yard buffer between us. He’d turn ever once in a while and crack up at how uncomfortable I must have looked…I couldn’t help see the humor in it myself. What a ride…we spotted monkeys, a komodo dragon and some of the most colorful birds I have ever laid eyes on. Not that it mattered anyway because the other gentlemen on the elephant would not have been able to understand me, but I was speechless.
We reached the end of the dirt path, we climbed down and the elephants made an about face and headed back in the direction to where we’d come. We were quickly greeted by a family that owns the boat that would escort us down the Macong.. We paid the 1000 baht toll, they supplied us with a small bucket of Beer Changs (not bad if I might add) and we were off. Not long after setting off we reached an area of the river in which villagers had set up boat shops and little stands on the banks with intention to hock small trinkets, other handmade goods and some of the most repulsive cuisine I ever hope to find. These were opportunistic merchants and when we arrived they would urge us to slow down, grab for a hook attached to a small rod and drag us to the bank to try and negotiate a sale. I really had no interest in purchasing anything, but after about the 5th stand I started to feel bad and I completed a transaction for a completely useless carved elephant figurine. I intend to bring this home to give away as a souvenir and I can’t help but think how disappointed the unlucky person that gets this will be with me.
The boat motored on for about an hour and a half and we stumbled upon temples, docked the boat and went walking through the monasteries. Buddhists are a very pious people and it was very humbling to be allowed to witness their worship. Den is a devout Buddhist himself and filled me in on all the traditions that I was witnessing the best he could.
We eventually made it back to the area in which we had parked and we set off back towards Bangkok. Along the way we battled traffic (which seems to be a real issue in this area of the world) and stopped into the previously referenced KFC for lunch. Before finally reaching downtown Bangkok we took a ride past Assumption University in an area called Ramcomhang. My sister studied abroad here for about 6 months when in college and, Meaux, I couldn’t believe my eyes…you’re even tougher than I thought you were!
I released Den for the day about 4 hours earlier than we had agreed upon but I made sure I booked him for the following morning to transport me to ChatuChak Market and eventually on to the airport. Once back I boarded public transportation and decided to explore the city. This, my friends, is when Bangkok decided to really start to show its teeth…
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